Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
