hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
