I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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