He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
