I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
