I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
