you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
