good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
