I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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