I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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