Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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