just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
