I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
