there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
