Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
