You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
