sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just tell him i said nine months
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
