Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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