If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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