Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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