Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
