end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
