The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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