The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize