The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
