it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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