love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
