So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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