Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
