reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
PANTIES FOUND
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