Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
