Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
