I wanna passion pit in your ass
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
