Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
