he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
