let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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