It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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