I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
