He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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