I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
