maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just gargled with NyQuil
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
