So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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