Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
