Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
