READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize