I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
