Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
