Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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