i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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