You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
