You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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