Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
