Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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