just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
