How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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