Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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