Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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