But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
