last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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